I’ve been avoiding Dying for Sex despite the rave reviews. I thought it would hit way too close to home, what with the cancer and all. Three minutes in and my whole body flushed with heat when Michelle Williams’s character gets the phone call from the hospital saying her cancer is back. I have gotten that call and wish that my response was to drink a liter of shitty soda and call my friend.
But I had the house to myself for five whole days while my husband and kids visited grandparents and let me tell you, the free weekend home alone was bliss. I wrote. I worked on a puzzle while listening to an audiobook. I took two walks (where I listened to even more of the audiobook). I ate at random times that weren’t dictated by kids’ schedules and only made things that I wanted to eat: an omelet with goat cheese and chives, that Andy Baraghani fennel salad that I can’t get enough of, random spoonfuls of peanut butter and a tub of cottage cheese with Maldon salt and extra black pepper.
And I watched multiple episodes of Dying for Sex. First of all, I want every single item of clothing that Michelle Williams wears in the series! I also wished I looked that good with a bleached pixie cut once my hair started to grow back. It is funny and heart-breaking and life affirming and, for me, completely relatable. And not just the cancer stuff! Her inner monologues are the best. Looking at her husband as he rages she thinks, “I forgot how hot he is when he’s mad and wearing a blazer.” Same.
Jenny Slate is fantastic! Perfect best friend energy and such a messy, funny, supremely lovable character. She really stole the show.
They get so much of it right. MyChart, the weird fake blue sky illuminated tiles in the center of an otherwise depressing hospital room, PET scan scheduling nightmares, male doctors and their discomfort talking about libido and menopause.
The opening scene in episode 4 where she’s laying on the table and the doctor is telling her it can’t possibly be cancer at her age. That the lump is so small. I could have written that whole scene. And then the very next moment, flash forward, where two nurses are prepping her for radiation and talking over her head, joking about something like she’s not even there. Whoever wrote this show has clearly been through it (I’ve since learned that it’s based on a true story).
There’s a scene where the main character, Molly, is learning to be submissive (it is, after all, a show about sex and desire) and I sat there teary eyed as the Dom touches a scar on Molly’s hipbone with such gentleness. It wasn’t about sex at all in the moment, but about a body that has only known pain for so long rediscovering pleasure. A woman understanding her own desires and giving voice to her feelings.
Also, how sexy is Rob Delaney??
It is clever and honest and funny and heartbreaking. I sobbed and I laughed and sobbed some more. I didn’t mean to do a whole post about a single tv show, but it clearly stirred up something in me. It was so relatable and validating and, simply, terrific.
Ah!!!! These shoes! I am in love. Tomato red with that little ankle strap. Dreamy.
On Sunday my mom and I went to our single-screen theater to see the French movie Jane Austen Wrecked My Life. So charming! So incredibly lovely! About a woman who works at Shakespeare & Co. in Paris and gets invited to the Jane Austen Writers’ Residency in England where she ends up having her own Austen-inspired love triangle. A modern romance meets the best bits of Pride & Prejudice. Yes, please!
A woman came into the bookstore wearing a pair of apple green wide legged pants (need to find!!) and some simple white sneakers. The whole thing was chef’s kiss and I'd love to try out the look with this classic pair.
I’m mad about this chili vase!! Incredible.
I shouldn’t include these striped pants because every size is sold out, but I’m crazy about them!! Setting a back in stock alert immediately.
I have another pair of Tory Burch fish earrings that I wear constantly (and constantly get asked where they’re from). Sadly, the fish earrings are long gone, but I would love to add this organic coral pair to the rotation.
I’ve had this Greece tee in my cart for weeks. Just need to figure out what size to get (unisex sizing is always tricky because I’m useless with measurements).
I was recently turned onto these Olyra breakfast bars and I cannot get enough! I actually eat them after lunch as a little sweet treat and they are supremely satisfying. The whole family is into the hazelnut flavor, though I’ll definitely be checking out cinnamon tahini on my next order. Worth noting that they aren’t kidding around when they say they’re chockfull of fiber!! Don’t say I didn’t warn you 😳
Hot Milk and The Cost of Living by Deborah Levy
I’ve had both of these slim books on my nightstand for ages and thought it would be great to read them back to back so I could really submerge myself in Deborah Levy’s voice. I read Hot Milk first since it came highly recommended by Kathleen, one of the wonderful booksellers at Wild Plum.
You can tell that Levy was still consumed by her recent novel Hot Milk while writing The Cost of Living. In her “working autobiography” she thinks about the Adriatic Sea and Medusa, both of which play a prominent role in Hot Milk. Female power and desire. Mother daughter relationships. Women’s roles in society, the weight of expectation and a longing for freedom.
And though Hot Milk takes place in the sunbaked seaside town Almería and The Cost of Living is firmly rooted in London, the two have become sort of interwoven in my mind. I noticed recurring elements in both: stinging creatures (jellyfish and bees), feeling exposed under the male gaze, terrible ex-husbands and sick mothers. There is a sense of unraveling.
Levy is deeply interested in human behavior so it is no surprise that the protagonist of Hot Milk, Sofia, is studying cultural anthropology. Levy’s own thoughts on motherhood electrified me.
“As the vintage story goes… the father detaches himself from the pitiful needs of his women and children and strides out into the world to do his thing. He is expected to be himself… When our father does the things he needs to do in the world, we understand it is his due. If our mother does the things she needs to do in the world, we feel she has abandoned us.”
I loved the way Levy’s mind wanders across the page (or pages) before finally circling back to the original idea. I loved how you can see her exploring an idea or belief in real time. I love the sensuality and slight sense of menace behind her words.
Both books are brilliant and I feel strongly that they should be read together. After all, added up they are around 350 pages total, which is still less than a good chunk of the books on the shelves. Smart and sharp, I will be pressing them onto everyone this summer. There’s something about a slim little paperback that begs to be read poolside.
Focusing on Hot Milk for the roundup since it screams summer (it is literally beach-set).
Some drapey knit pants and a matching top for trips to the local mercado.
Like the kind of sunglasses Penelope Cruz would wear in Vicky Cristina Barcelona.
An everyday straw bag for beach days and lazy lunches in the plaza.
A perfect little red evening bag for hot nights on the town.
This necklace is begging to be worn against some tan, preferably salty from the sea, skin
This gorgeous crocheted dress is begging for a pair of strappy flat sandals and some silver jewelry and a hot summer night.
Lightweight cotton pants begging to be worn with a sleek black one piece swimsuit.
Sandals to wear with that crocheted dress… or those knit pants… or that yellow skirt. Really, with everything all summer long.
A perfect, very sexy but not skimpy bikini top and bottom for quick dips in the Alboran sea.
My every day, ride or die sunblock.
Hope you’re reading something good!
*Crumples in a dark physical guilt-ache: "When our father does the things he needs to do in the world, we understand it is his due. If our mother does the things she needs to do in the world, we feel she has abandoned us.” Le sigh.
You’ve got me so curious about Hot Milk! Adding to my TBR now, and moving up the list.